Returning to your own vomit?

I was listening to a Chris Hand sermon on the way to and from work today and he made reference to "The dog is turned to his own vomit again." from 2 Peter 2:22 (KJV) the full verse being:

"But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire."

This is (as I have since discovered) Paul's reference to Proverbs 26:11 (KJV) which reads:

"As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly."

This painted a wonderfully disgusting picture for me. Let me explain.

Since I was converted nearly a year ago I have struggled with varying degree with my propensity to stumble, slip, wander and even at times stride straight back into my sinful ways. Now I'm fully aware of my state as a 'wretched man' and a full blown sinner (who is saved by grace... *here is where you see me grinning ear to ear*). So it doesn't surprise me that I do sin... regularly. Hourly in fact. As do you.

What does confuse me at times like these though is the stupidity of us all. Many a time over the years I knew of people who woke up after a hard night on the town, reeking of booze, with a filthy hangover. Said drunkard would clutch their head, groan and utter "never again... that's it... I'm never ever drinking again..." Cue a week later and there you have them, knocking back another shot of liver killer with a smile on their face and wreckless abandon in their heart.

I'm as stupid and wreckless as any of the boozers in town this past Saturday. Why? Because so often there are things I say or do that my conscience tells me are wrong. 'Don't do/say/think/behave like that' it says... 'you'll be sorry', 'you'll regret it!' And time after time I end up like that drinker... hopelessly drawn into doing something I know I'm going to plead with God to forgive me for... again.

'The temptation is too much'. 'I can't resist it'. 'It won't hurt just the once'. 'It's a bit naughty, but I'm only human'. Sound familiar? I'm sure there's plenty of excuses that could be added to that list. But they're all feeble excuses and don't stand up. So picture this:

Imagine eating a spoonful of vomit. Your own. Imagine the bitter, acidic slime. The smell and taste deep in the back of your nasal cavity. The heat of the juices and the sticky, yet watery texture of the liquid and the soft partly digested chunks of meat and vegetables. Imagine the sickening heave as you close your mouth and swallow. Horrible yes? Ok now consider this.

Your sin (and mine) is far more vile and disgusting than that spoonful of sick. Yet if you picture the sick as sin which you've been purged of. Poison that is forced up and out of you in a painful, yet necessary action of rejection by the stomach of the soul. Why would you gladly spoon it back in?

Would you sit and watch someone eat a bowl of their own vomit? Would you want to stop them? Would you even contemplate eating it yourself? Or would the thought itself make you want to vomit some more?

We should view our sin as such a vile substance as this. We should turn our noses up at it every time, but we don't because we're stupid. Just like the Saturday night binge drinker. We validate and accept our sins as being part of us without resisting enough. Sure we'll slip and stumble, we have sinful natures every man has. But we can resist... I wish I could remember the verse about God not allowing us to experience a temptation we couldn't resist. You know the one?

I hate it when I behave like that dog, lapping up its own sick before its even cold. I'll be praying this week and for a long time to come that I see my vomit/sin for what it is... then carry on my way, leaving it far behind.